Un Invited 2

January 20, 2009

This is a sequel of a previous post entitled Un Invited.  Weeks after my ex-friend’s wedding, i got a feedback from from Marie, the more important friend.  Marie did attend the wedding.  Marie and her hubby were the only ones seated on the table intended for us.  Which clearly means, the wedding was not well attended.  Karma, I suppose.  For deliberately inviting me just to get hold of Marie’s number.

UN Invited

December 9, 2008

“Hello, thanks for your greetings.  You are invited to my wedding. It’s will be held in this church at this time and reception will follow at this place.  By the way, I already sent Marie her invitation.  Do you have her new cellphone number?  Here’s my contact number.  Let me know if you can attend.  Hope you can make it.  Mwah!” , said my friend Rose in my Friendster’s message inbox. 

NOTE:  Rose sent this “invitation” two weeks before the actual wedding date.  (I will explain later the reason for the open and closed parenthesis on the word invitation). 

MY ANALYSIS:  She only intends to invite Marie for her wedding.  Since she was not able to get hold of her number, she decided to contact me.  Maybe, she felt uneasy asking for Marie’s number, she decided to invite me.  Giving her the benefit of the doubt, I assumed that the invitation was sincere. 

In my excitement over the possibility of having an impromptu high school reunion, I immediately logged in my ym account to contact Marie. 

Me: BUZZ!!! Marie! Rose is getting married.  Are you attending?  She is trying to contact you, wala ka daw reply.  Are you attending?

A day later…

Marie:  Yes, I will be attending her wedding.  Mag half day ako.  Alis ako ng 3pm sa office.  Di sure si Norman(her husband) about his sked.  Baka habol nalang siya.

Me:  Wala kami Manila that morning ni hubby.  If matuloy meeting, baka ako nalang punta.  Di ata kasama hubbies sa invited?

Marie:  Invited si Norman.

Me: (very uncomfortable silence on my end)…

Marie: Meet nalang tayo somewhere then sabay nalang tayo punta sa reception.

Me:  Ok, will notify Rose.

NOTE:  Marie’s husband Norman was invited.  My husband was not.  Marie did not even bothered to ask for Rose’s number.  Mag hahalf day si Marie, pero 3 ang labas. 

MY ANALYSIS:  Marie is not “excited” with the prospect of being invited.  Half day is 12 noon not 3 pm.  I think it was just Marie’s standard answer.  Ano pa aabutan namin?  We were invited to a wedding, not a reception.  Notice the irony here?!

2 days later, having not heard anything from Rose, I decided to text her…

Me:  Hi Rose, it’s me.  Already talked to Marie.  She’s attending daw.  Wala kami Manila ng morning kaya habol kami.

Rose:  That’s good to hear.  3 seats are reserved for you guys.

Me:  (again, stunned silence on my part)… There’s just 2 of us na hahabol, my husband and I. 

Rose:  Sila Marie, aattend?

Me:  Last time I talked to her, maghahalf day daw.  3pm siya lalabas ng office, then hahabol.

Rose:  So, 4 kayo?

NOTE:  (obviously, my husband is not invited.  Marie’s husband is.  Take note of the emphasis on the 3 seats and the word sila)…

MY ANALYSIS:  My hunch was correct all along.  She only invited me because that’s the only way to contact Marie.  She thought I will not attend.  She also did not bother to check whether I am with a date or whether my husband is accompanying me.  She knows I am married.  It’s announced all over my Friendster profile and pictures.  Only a fool would miss it.  All she bothered about is whether Marie and her husband are attending. 

I did not bother to reply.

After a day, I decided to text Rose that we are not attending.  (I decided not to attend her wedding.  I only attend weddings where I am sincerely invited.  I am not stooping to her level by being as rude and as inconsiderate as she is.  I will notify her of my change in plans)   

Me:  Hi again Rose, there is a change in our schedule.  My husband and I can not attend your wedding.  Congratulations and Best Wishes.  Hope you enjoy your big day.  (A big lie.  There is no change in schedule.  And I sincerely hope that they do not enjoy their big day…I am so bad. Well, serves her right. She’s user-friendly!)

Rose:  Ok, no problem.  Is Marie attending?  (See!  Why do I really even bother to be cordial and proper to her?)

Me:  Habol ata siya, last time I talked to her.

Rose:  Please forward Marie’s number.

I did not bother to reply, for the second time.

NOTE: Rose did not show any sign of regret that I am not attending.  She clearly used me to get hold of Marie’s number.  The thing is, Marie did not even bothered to return her messages and texts.  Marie did not even bothered to confirm her attendance.  It’s an ironic world.  I valued her.  She valued Marie.  Marie did not value her.  She could have saved us all the trouble, the irritation and the time by directly asking me for Marie’s number.  No need to falsely invite me.  I was surpised with the invitation.  But I was much more surprised with the rudeness shown to me. 

I learned my lesson, the irritating way.  Next time:

1)  I will give attention to wedding invitations given a month before the actual wedding date.  If you are invited few weeks before, it means “pamuno” lang kayo.  The other guests did not confirm and they need to fill the church and reception hall.  Besides, if you really are friends.  You will be invited right after the engagement. 

2)  There should be a real invitation with my name and partner’s name on it.  If it can not be handled in person, an email or a personal call will do.  Heck, if you really want me to go to your wedding, give me a month’s notice.  There’s the schedule, the gift and the outfit to be considered.

3)  I will only attend weddings of my real friends.  I now know she is not one of them.  I hope she would not bother to post her pix.  I won’t bother to look at them anyway!  Time to delete her from my friend’s list.

Dum-dum-dah-dah (to the tune of Here Comes the Bride)…