Moods

I know where this “mood” came from.  It started two weeks ago.  I know the reasons.  i know what triggered it.  It has to be stopped.  Otherwise, the sensitive disposition and crying spells will not cease.  It’s the shocking news.  I have to come in terms with it.  Besides, there is really nothing I can do about it.  Except accept it wholeheartedly.  It’s not as if I own the person.  It’s not as if the person owe me an explanation.  It’s not as it I can’t live without the so-caled friendship.  I can not let my control down.  I can not let my disposition be ruined.  Especially, now that I don’t knwo who my real friends are.  Especially, now that I feel so alone.  Especially, now that I feel that my life plans are not going anywhere.  I have to keep myself busy.  I only have myself to depend upon.

Resilient

“Strong people can never be defeated” - Danielle Steel

It could be the lowest point.  At the breaking point.  Little by little, trying to keep sane.  Slowly, trying to find support.  Trying to look for a solid balance.  Never believed it once said, “Don’t let other people hold your happiness in their hands.  Hold it in yours, so it will always be in your reach”.  Always seeking for assurance.  Always looking for approval.  In the deepest recesses on emotions, one thing remains true.  Only you can love yourself.  Only you can help yourself.  Only you can give the so longed for approval.  Only you can make yourself happy.

Try to be happy.  Try to keep sane.  If you let them affect you, they’ve won the battle.  Often wondered why.  Why they are never on your side.  Do they have your best interest at heart?  Was it a long conflict?  Was it hidden anger?  One you never noticed?

Keep going.  Keep dreaming.  Keep doing.  Keep loving.  Keep the truths.  Keep whatever will help you get by.  Keep your sanity.  Keep your happiness.  It’s your life to live.  It’s yours to keep.